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Intimacy is like a oxygen to marriage; when it is in place, there love, affection and bonding. As good as it is to marriage; it can be killed or detected. But at the times; people find it difficult to identify its killer which this article exposed.

-         Busy Schedule- Being too busy to be together; talk, play, and pray together can destroy any home.

-         Lack of Partner-Focus-Life- Most couples don’t make each other their priority, to most men, their work comes first, to most women, their children comes first.

-         Lack of Intimate Communication- Communication is the key to intimacy; you can never be intimate with closed mouth.

-         Television- The only time some couples spend together at home is spent watching television, no time to talk; no wonder many marriages are worn-out like our television remote control.

-         Failure to Pray Together- Lack of couples praying together will definitely destroy their spiritual intimacy. Couples that want to stay together must pray together.

-         Unforgiveness- Couples that refuses to forgive each other can never be intimate

-         Lack of Privacy. Intimacy is always difficult where couples are not staying alone in their room, grown-up children should be allowed to go into their own rooms. Couples should be in their personal room.

-         Bad Leadership- Where the man is a dictator lording it over the woman, intimacy will be difficult.

-                     Bad Followership- Where the woman is stubborn, difficult, quarrelsome, disrespectful; it will destroy intimacy in marriage.

-         Third Party Interference- Where a third party is allowed to drive the affair at home, it will set the couple apart.

-         Infidelity- Lack of trust, suspicion, and infidelity is another killer of intimacy.

-         Self- I, Me, Mine and Myself is a sure killer of intimacy. Couples should know that marriage is “we”, not “me”.

-         Distance- Couples that stays in different cities, house or bedroom do find intimacy difficult.

-         Absence of Romance- Lack of romance, jokes, playfulness and togetherness is an enemy of intimacy.

-         Absence of Intimate Sex- If couples is fond of fighting it out anytime they want to sleep together, it will affect intimacy.

Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

Winning their husbands has been the prayer and aspiration of all women, no matter their age, tribe, tongue, colour, or creed. They desire to have their husbands as friends, companions, confidant, comrade and lover. They look forward to their men caring for them, loving them, pampering them, giving them their attention and affection. In most cases wives do not succeed in their quest to “conquer” the heart of the men they love and adored and the major reasons for this is that they were using the wrong weapon to fight the right war, confronting instead of comforting, competing instead of completing, thereby turning their “heaven” to oven, home to hostels.

Here, we are going to discuss how to win your husband and enjoy your marriage:

1.      Always Pray for Him. Prayer is the greatest weapon in the hand of a Godly woman. Your husband may reject your counsel, resist your friendship, reproof your begging, mock your suggestion, disdain your food, oppose your actions and unmoved by your sex and romance, but he is powerless before your prayer. He can do nothing to resist his creator.

Touch the following areas in his life:

-         His conversion

-         His action

-         His decision

-         His temptation

-          His job

-         His finances

-         His  sex life,

-         Pattern of life,

-         Friendship

-          Health and lots more.

Make your husband a prayer project; never give him a breathing space in the place of prayer.

2.      Give Him a “Type A Marriage. Marriage are generally classify into type A-D; they are:

Type D - Hate and Resist Marriage

Type C-   Love and Resist Marriage

Type B - Hate and Submit Marriage

Type A - Love and Submit Marriage.

Let yours be a Type A, submit to him, (2) honour him, respect him, even if he hate you, through patience, love, submission and prayer, he will see his folly and come to his senses.

No matter how a man loves you, if you fail to submit, he will end up hating you thereby making your marriage a Type D marriage.

3.      Know your Husband Inside-Out. If you know him well you will be able to avoid constant misunderstanding and know how to placate him when he is angry. You will also know his taste, vision, longing, fear and weakness, strong points, state of health, friends, his happiness triggers, how and when to correct him when he make mistakes, his styles, methods, likes dislikes, best food, best fruit, his hero, the person he might respect, etc. this also involves knowing what turns him “on” and “off”, what he cannot resist and what satisfy him in bed.

4.      Apology. This involves not defending yourself, not explaining and not justifying yourself. Not passing the buck whenever there is mistake, but by first sincerely apologizing with a remorseful spirit, action and tones.

5.      Satisfy Him Morally. Do everything to show your husband that your body belong to him, guard your nakedness from other men jealously and let your man know that you do. Let him know he has monopoly of your body. Never tie towel or wrapper without blouse around the street, avoid exposing your breast in the market place in the name of breast feeding your baby; if you are alone with him in the house and you are not properly dressed, as soon as a visitor knock the door go for your house blouse that will send signal to your man that you are trust worthy, full of dignity. Never wear mini skirt or other dress that exposes your nakedness and never be unfaithful to your husband.

6.      Be A Babe, Never A Madam. Always dress to look younger, neat approachable and acceptable. Celebrate youthfulness, not oldness. You are as old as the way you see yourself and the way you dress a “madam”. Dressing may make a mad man out of him; “babe” behaviour will make him to treat you as his baby. Never say “who dey look me”, your husband is looking at you; give him the best.

7.      Know the Best Way to Make Him Happy.  There are several ways to make a man happy, you need to know that of your man. This will be treated in another article.

8.      Glorious Home Coming. Make his home-coming a pleasant one. Give him a grand reception; welcome him with a smile and enthusiasm. Give him “you-are-too-important”, “we’ve-been-expecting-you” type of welcome. Let him feel at home in his house, kiss him, collect his suit and bag, give him your attention, give him cold water, serve his food, treat him like a king.

Shortly before his arrival, look round the house, put everything in place, flush and clean the toilet, re-set the sitting room, lay the bed, clean the bedroom and cook a delicious meal for him. Make yourself ready, work on yourself, take a shower, put on a good perfume, put on romantic clothes and look like a babe not like his grand-ma.

After doing that, send a text message to him that “EVERYTHING” is ready for you dear lover boy, the house, the food, the water, your babe, I mean me; is seriously ready for you to show you my generosity”. When he arrives home, give him a grand reception, he is the president of your home.        

Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

No strange woman can unseat you from your house if you really know who your husband is and how best to handle him. No man can throw out a woman who greatly satisfies him. A godly, striving, virtuous and romantic woman is the owner of the head, mind, heart and body of her husband.

You need to become an irresistible woman, a terrific wife, and a great mother. If you want continuous peace in your home:

(1)  Invite the King of kings into your home: - The best thing that can happen to you is to have a God-fearing man as husband; this will give you absolute peace at home. Hence, you must do everything to make the King of kings’ reign in your home.

Spiritual State of the Home:

 Categories of Husbands                                             Categories of Wives

-         Godly husbands (G)                                          -   Godly wives (G)

-         Unbelieving husbands (U)                                -    Unbelieving wives (U)

-         Backslidden husbands (B)                                -    Backslidden wives (B)

-         Nominal husbands (N)                                     -     Nominal wives (N)

ð    U, B, N Husbands + U, B, N Wives = Devil’s territory

ð    U, B, N Husbands + G Wives = Pillars & Caterpillars homes

ð    G Husbands + G Wives = Dominion homes (Genesis 1:28)

If you are a ‘G’ wife, the best thing that can happen to you is to have a “G” husband if your husband is a U, B, or N husband but then you have a lots to do.

Do the following:

a.           Check yourself. Are you a ‘G’ or ‘U, B, or N’ wife? Give your life totally to God, be genuinely born again and live a righteous life.

b.           Take your husband up in prayer: - Serious prayer will bring glorious result, take AUTHORITY over every spirit that is controlling him, snatch him over for God. He may reject your food, he may scorn your advice, he may deny you love, he may abandon your friendship, he may turn against your sexual advances but he is powerless in the presence of your prayer.

c.           Have an exceptional Character (I pet 3:1-2) – He may not be moved by your preaching, but can be turned around by your conduct and godly manners. If you behave just like any other woman he may not see the reason why he should follow your God.

Wives in Dominion Homes

-         Do not take your husband for granted, pray for him daily, and touch every aspect of his life in prayer.

-         Make sure there is family altar in your home.

-         Do everything to make sure your husband grow in faith. Buy books and tapes for him. Encourage him to attend conferences and go on retreat. Pray any friend that will not help him to grow in faith out of his life.

-         Attend church together regularly.

-         Make sure your tithes and offerings are paid.

-         Help him to obey God always.

2.           Respect Your Husband; Your King- Eph. 5:33- Your husband desperately need your respect. Just the way you want his love, attention and care, he also wants your honour, reverence and respect. Lack of respect may burst his ego as a man; more of it will make him feel like a man as it boosts his ego. Respect is number one thing your husband needs from you, but most women can respect any other man but not their husband.

 (3).   Serve Him kingly Dishes: - Good food is another way to treat him as a King. Be a good cook. Cook good food, delicious meal and finger-licking-dishes. You cannot be a good wife if you are bad in the kitchen. (Proverb 31: 15)

 (4).   Turn Your House to a Palace- Is your house a PALACE or a DUNGHILL? Is it conducive for your husband? Can he be glad to meet the house the way it is? Do something about your house, from sitting room to the toilet make everywhere clean. Most women do take care of the sitting room because of visitors but neglect the bedroom. This is wrong. Create a palace in your house for your king.

(5).   Make Princes and Princesses Out of Your Children- Make sure your children are neatly dressed always. Men love to see their children in clean and neat clothes. Never allow your children to dress like orphans; they must be well fed, neatly dressed and presentable. Remember they are princes and princesses.

(6).   Present Yourself as A Queen- Nobody will treat you as a slave if you present yourself as a queen, work on yourself in the following areas:

 a.   Have a Queenly Character- Act, react, talk and relate like a queen. Be humble, meek and gentle; avoid characters that degrade your position as a queen.

b.    Do Things Expected of a Queen- You cannot see a queen doing the following: -

-           Tying wrapper or towel without blouse, walking round the street.

-           Chewing stick for the better part of the day.

-           Walking bare-footed.

-           Sitting on the street gossiping.

-           Bringing out the whole breast in the name of breastfeeding.  

c.          Have a Queenly Outlook: - Dress neatly and look nice, no old fashion, no colour riot, no extravagant dressing. Have good house wears, maternity wears; under wears, outing wears and night wears. You can’t look dirty and get a “neat” response from your husband; the way you dress is the way you will be addressed. Looking good is good.

(7).         Queenly Bedroom Performance (Proverb 5:15-20, I Cor.7:1-5): - Sex is one thing your husband wants more of. Don’t destroy your marriage by denying him, be queenly in the bedroom, be terrific, and be involved. Get a copy of our book Sexual Fulfillment In Marriage for more on this.

Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

                                              (Proverbs 5:15-19, SOS 4:3-11)

Examine several ways to approach sex for a better result; don’t just approach it like any other issue in your life. There are ways to approach it to make it a thing of joy and happiness and give the parties involved fulfillment they desire and create harmony and intimacy at home.

(1)     Approach sex with love; knowing fully well that sex is love making. Approach your partner with love, do everything out of love, put your spouse first, make sex enjoyable for him/her.

  (2)     Approach sex with kindness knowing fully well that God created sex to be enjoyed not to be endured. Do everything in the bedroom out of kindness to your mate; go for longer foreplay to show that you are kind to your wife. Allow your husband to sleep with you atimes when you don’t feel like doing it just to show your kindness.

(3)       Approach sex with thanksgiving knowing fully well that sex is a gift from God. Always see sex as a gift from God, accept it with love, accept it with joy, and accept it with thanksgiving.

(4)    Approach sex with selflessness knowing fully well that givers never lack. Most people approach the bed with the thought of what to gain and enjoy, not with the mind of what to give to their partner and to satisfy them. Selfishness in bed makes a man not to want to go for foreplay but want sex, have his way, jump from the woman and start to snore like a bull dog. It is this same selfishness that makes a man to be careless whether his wife reach orgasm or not, his own concern is to satisfy himself and go his way. The barbaric thought of “ I want to conquer a woman” “ I want to sleep with her” “ I want to enjoy myself” is what is still reigning in the bedroom even among those that have been married for twenty years, they’ve forgotten that sex is not about “conquering” it is about “love making”

Women too should be selfless if they only want to give their bodies to their husbands whenever they have the feelings, they will destroy their homes. Some women only want their husbands to give them a good and long foreplay and nothing more, this is selfish, it must change, see sex as a service to your spouse, you will be surprised how your response and performance will change for good.

(5)   Approach sex with an open mind knowing fully well that half minded sex is not love making. Never forget that your mind is the strongest sex organ, give all your attention to your mate’s body and the pleasure. Forget about the business deal, children’s school fees, sick child, stock market, sport news, baby wet diaper etc get your body system, your hormones in the red alert to get the best pleasure humanity can offer. Never be half minded, come fully to the bedroom, give a 101 percent performance.

(6)   Approach sex with joy, knowing fully well that you are doing the right thing. By giving your body to your mate, you are obeying God; you are satisfying your mate, preventing him/her from sexual immorality creating happiness and making God happy. Since what you are doing is right, then approach sex with joy. No moodiness, laugh, crack jokes, talk to your mates, call genital by their names, don’t withdraw into your ‘shell’ and be free with your man.

(7)   Approach sex as a recreation knowing fully well that God plan it that way. Sex is not just for baby making, it is for pleasure, enjoyment and recreation, it is not something you do when you feel you need another baby. Approach it with the mind of enjoying yourself and give your spouse the pleasure he/she rightly deserve.

(8)   Approach sex with a sense of responsibility knowing fully well that it is your duty to satisfy your spouse. See sex with a sense of responsibility- responsibility to give adequate foreplay, responsibility to give proper pleasuring, responsibility to participate fully. Holding your husband, rolling your body, appreciating his body, making good comment as you make love and enjoy the best of time together. Men also should know that it is their responsibility to delay ejaculation and take their wives to orgasm.

(9)     Approach sex with patience, knowing fully well that love is patient and that sex is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Be patient with each other; don’t make love in an hurry. Create time to be together, give adequate time for foreplay, and never be in haste.

(10)   Approach sex with good communication, knowing fully well that your spouse is different from you and that lack of good communication only bring frustration. Good game needs good talk, as you get the door to your bedroom close, get communication door wide open, keep on talking, talk about your body, your pleasure, what you want, how you want it, how fast, how slow, where you want to be touch, how firm, stroking or fondling, massaging or rubbing, this will add fire to your sex life.

(11)   Approach sex with excitement, knowing fully well that this is the most exciting thing on earth. Get excited, give excitement, look for excitement and look forward to really enjoy sex with great excitement, it is part of the game.

(12)  Approach sex with contentment, knowing fully well that your spouse is enough to satisfy you. Be content with your spouse’s body, see him or her as the best God can offer you as far as sex is concerned.  Drink water from your Cistern, be content with the water from your own well, be satisfy with the breast of your wife; big or small, standing or bending, pointing or flabby they are called the same name, get carried away with your wife. Never look forward to having another man sleep with you, your husband’s penis is for you, he was circumcised because of you, he is just your size, modify to suit you, get satisfied with this God given gift.

(13)   Approach sex with freedom, knowing fully well that God sees sex in marriage as pure, holy, righteous and acceptable. Destroy every inhibition, stand tall to enjoy each other, talk easily about your sex life, the way you talk about the food to eat, clothes to wear and the children’s school fees, it is as simple as that. Be very free with each other’s nakedness just as you are with your own, get immersed in your husband or wife’s passion- no crime committed.

(14)  Approach sex with tenderness, knowing fully well that it is love making and not mating. Animals mate, lovers make love, animals do have sex without love, tenderness, or passion. Husband and wife should be lovers, making love with tenderness, handle each other gently, and delicately, no rushing, no painful pumping but gentle penetration followed by loving thrusting.

(15).   Approach sex with expectation, knowing fully well that expectation is the mother of fulfillment. Get involved with great expectation, expect satisfaction, expect to be tantalized.

To expect is to set your sex hormones in red alert and declare a state of emergency in the genital region and all erogenous zones.

(16)   Approach sex with affection, knowing fully well that you can get more by appreciating your mate for giving you his or her body. Be full of appreciation throughout the love making. Don’t keep quiet; appreciate the pleasuring, the foreplay, the kissing, the penetration and the thrusting.

Keep on appreciating each other for everything.

Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

Intimacy is like a oxygen to marriage; when it is in place, there love, affection and bonding. As good as it is to marriage; it can be killed or detected. But at the times; people find it difficult to identify its killer which this article exposed.

-         Busy Schedule- Being too busy to be together; talk, play, and pray together can destroy any home.

-         Lack of Partner-Focus-Life- Most couples don’t make each other their priority, to most men, their work comes first, to most women, their children comes first.

-         Lack of Intimate Communication- Communication is the key to intimacy; you can never be intimate with closed mouth.

-         Television- The only time some couples spend together at home is spent watching television, no time to talk; no wonder many marriages are worn-out like our television remote control.

-         Failure to Pray Together- Lack of couples praying together will definitely destroy their spiritual intimacy. Couples that want to stay together must pray together.

-         Unforgiveness- Couples that refuses to forgive each other can never be intimate

-         Lack of Privacy. Intimacy is always difficult where couples are not staying alone in their room, grown-up children should be allowed to go into their own rooms. Couples should be in their personal room.

-         Bad Leadership- Where the man is a dictator lording it over the woman, intimacy will be difficult.

-         Bad Followership- Where the woman is stubborn, difficult, quarrelsome, disrespectful; it will destroy intimacy in marriage.

-         Third Party Interference- Where a third party is allowed to drive the affair at home, it will set the couple apart.

-         Infidelity- Lack of trust, suspicion, and infidelity is another killer of intimacy

-         Self- I, Me, Mine and Myself is a sure killer of intimacy. Couples should know that marriage is “we”, not “me”.

-         Distance- Couples that stays in different cities, house or bedroom do find intimacy difficult.

-         Absence of Romance- Lack of romance, jokes, playfulness and togetherness is an enemy of intimacy.

-         Absence of Intimate Sex- If couples is fond of fighting it out anytime they want to sleep together, it will affect intimacy.

Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

      Answer the following questions. SINCERELY write yes or no. It will help you to renew your

     marriage. Be truthful to yourself, it is good for your home.

-     You’ve not told him “I love you” for the past one month       

-     You argue with your husband                                                    

-     You insulted or cursed him at least once                                      

-    You only give him sex when you feel like

-    You’ve not bought a gift for him in the last three months.

-    You fight regularly about sex

-    You do fight his mother

-    You love your family more than his

-    You only know how to prepare your local food

-    You find it easier to confide in your friends

-    You do nothing to celebrate his last birthday.

-    You are closer to your mother than him.

-    You don’t enjoy his company

-    You have not prayed for him today.

-    You attend different churches.

-    You do keep malice with him.

-    You do not talk to him intimately.

-              He doesn’t know how much you earn.

-              You wish you are married to someone else.

-              You do take revenge when he offends you.

-              You keep secrets from him.

-              You hate sex.

-              You love it when he travels.

-              You don’t have him in mind when you are dressing up.

-              You have not prayed together in the last one week.

-              You do disrespect him when you are angry.

-              You love your children more than him.

-              You do report him to friends and family members

-              You have not listened to any marriage tapes in the last three months.

-              You have not invited him for sex in the last six months.

-              You give him cold sex; no response, no movement.

-              You respect your pastor more than him.

-              You’ve not eaten together in the last one week.

-              You do feel at home when he is not at home.

-              You do stop cooking for him when you are angry.

-              You’ve fought him publicly at least once.

-              You abuse or fought him before visitors and children.

-              You do not know the size of his shoe.

-              You’ve never had bath together.

-              You don’t crack jokes together

-              You know you are stubborn.

-              He is not your hero or mentor

-              If you were to remarry you will not marry him.

-              You have not told him any romantic words in the last one month.

-              You are not too close.

-              You don’t know the size of his shirt.

-              He complains about how dirty the house is.

-               You blame him for the state of your marriage.

-               You don’t pray regularly about your marriage; your love and sex life.

-               You don’t respect him.

-               You feel he is to pay all the bills at home.

-               You do refer to his old offences

-               You do compete with him.

-               You feel sex is only for baby making only.

-               You feel men are necessary evil.

-               You don’t know his favourite colour.

-               You don’t know his mother maiden name.

-               You don’t know the primary school he attended.

Now rate yourself, what kind of wife are you? If your answer is “YES” to many of the questions above, then something is wrong with you. It is like this; If you only have:

10 Yes’ and Below   -   Great wife        (Grade A Wives)

11-15                         -   Good wife       (Grade B Wives)

16-20                         -   Average wife   (Grade C Wives)

21-30                         -   Bad wife          (Grade D Wives)

                                     Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

{SOS 2:4-14, Eccl. 9:9}

A sanctuary marriage is an intimate marriage, a marriage of friends and lovers, a marriage of openness, closeness, fondness and oneness.

A marriage that is full of love, honour, glamour and the presence of God. To call it another name; it is an INTIMATE MARRIAGE.

Note these:

·         Living together as husband and wife without intimacy produces- PLASTIC MARRIAGE

·         Marriage without intimate discussion produces- ACIDIC MARRIAGE (A Marriage full of misunderstanding, argument, suspicion, strife and quarrels).

·         Marriage without intimate time-out produces- MARRIED CO-TENANTS and HOSTEL HOMES.

·         Sex without intimacy produces- BIOLOGICAL MATING or atimes MARITAL RAPE.

                        LEVELS OF INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

a.      Separated Level - They have separated totally and now live in different places.  Though not officially divorce  but still come together once in a while because of their children                                                               

b.      O-Y-O (On-your-own) Level- They are  still together in the same house, but not in the same room, knows close to nothing about each other,  can keep malice for months, nothing concern them about each other , full of bitterness, hatred and resentment. Both have records of “evil deeds” of their partners. This kind of marriage produces “Olympic couples”; it is full of competition, in-fighting, vengeance and strife. A lot of Christian are on this level,  they only refuse to separate because of the church, society or children and nobody is doing anything to improve their marriage        

c.        Togetherness Level- (Courtyard Level) - Couples are not really fighting at this level but they are not friends. They do things together; most especially if it involves their children’s health, food, etc. Marriages at this level are plastic marriages.

d.      Fondness Level (Inner Level)- Couples at this level are closer than couples at togetherness level, they talk freely about anything in the house, they celebrate each other to a large extent, they are friends and are fond of each other, but they are not lovers.

e.       Oneness Level (Sanctuary Level) - At this level, couples are not just friends, they are lovers, they are not just familiar, they are family. They are not just close; they are one, they don’t only joined their hands, their minds are also joined.

They are open, mutual, tender, caring and selfless to each other. They live their life based on

Galatians 5:22-23, they settled disputes and talk intimately. SOS 8:7. 

Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

No strange woman can unseat you from your house if you really know who your husband is and how best to handle him. No man can throw out a woman who greatly satisfies him. A godly, striving, virtuous and romantic woman is the owner of the head, mind, heart and body of her husband.

   You need to become an irresistible woman, a terrific wife, and a great mother. If you want  

continuous peace in your home:

(1)  Invite the King of kings into your home: - The best thing that can happen to you is to have a God-fearing man as husband; this will give you absolute peace at home. Hence, you must do everything to make the King of kings’ reign in your home.

   Spiritual State of the Home:

   Categories of Husbands                                             Categories of Wives

-         Godly husbands (G)                                          -   Godly wives (G)

-         Unbelieving husbands (U)                                -    Unbelieving wives (U)

-         Backslidden husbands (B)                                -    Backslidden wives (B)

-         Nominal husbands (N)                                     -     Nominal wives (N)

ð    U, B, N Husbands + U, B, N Wives = Devil’s territory

ð    U, B, N Husbands + G Wives = Pillars & Caterpillars homes

ð    G Husbands + G Wives = Dominion homes (Genesis 1:28)

If you are a ‘G’ wife, the best thing that can happen to you is to have a “G” husband if your husband is a U, B, or N husband but then you have a lots to do.

Do the following:

a.           Check yourself. Are you a ‘G’ or ‘U, B, or N’ wife? Give your life totally to God, be genuinely born again and live a righteous life.

b.           Take your husband up in prayer: - Serious prayer will bring glorious result, take AUTHORITY over every spirit that is controlling him, snatch him over for God. He may reject your food, he may scorn your advice, he may deny you love, he may abandon your friendship, he may turn against your sexual advances but he is powerless in the presence of your prayer.

c.           Have an exceptional Character (I pet 3:1-2) – He may not be moved by your preaching, but can be turned around by your conduct and godly manners. If you behave just like any other woman he may not see the reason why he should follow your God.

Wives in Dominion Homes

-         Do not take your husband for granted, pray for him daily, and touch every aspect of his life in prayer.

-         Make sure there is family altar in your home.

-         Do everything to make sure your husband grow in faith. Buy books and tapes for him. Encourage him to attend conferences and go on retreat. Pray any friend that will not help him to grow in faith out of his life.

-         Attend church together regularly.

-         Make sure your tithes and offerings are paid.

-         Help him to obey God always.

2.           Respect Your Husband; Your King- Eph. 5:33- Your husband desperately need your respect. Just the way you want his love, attention and care, he also wants your honour, reverence and respect. Lack of respect may burst his ego as a man; more of it will make him feel like a man as it boosts his ego. Respect is number one thing your husband needs from you, but most women can respect any other man but not their husband.

 (3).   Serve Him kingly Dishes: - Good food is another way to treat him as a King. Be a good cook. Cook good food, delicious meal and finger-licking-dishes. You cannot be a good wife if you are bad in the kitchen. (Proverb 31: 15)

 (4).   Turn Your House to a Palace- Is your house a PALACE or a DUNGHILL? Is it conducive for your husband? Can he be glad to meet the house the way it is? Do something about your house, from sitting room to the toilet make everywhere clean. Most women do take care of the sitting room because of visitors but neglect the bedroom. This is wrong. Create a palace in your house for your king.

(5).   Make Princes and Princesses Out of Your Children- Make sure your children are neatly dressed always. Men love to see their children in clean and neat clothes. Never allow your children to dress like orphans; they must be well fed, neatly dressed and presentable. Remember they are princes and princesses.

(6).   Present Yourself as A Queen- Nobody will treat you as a slave if you present yourself as a queen, work on yourself in the following areas:

 a.   Have a Queenly Character- Act, react, talk and relate like a queen. Be humble, meek and gentle; avoid characters that degrade your position as a queen.

b.    Do Things Expected of a Queen- You cannot see a queen doing the following: -

-           Tying wrapper or towel without blouse, walking round the street.

-           Chewing stick for the better part of the day.

-           Walking bare-footed.

-           Sitting on the street gossiping.

-           Bringing out the whole breast in the name of breastfeeding.  

c.          Have a Queenly Outlook: - Dress neatly and look nice, no old fashion, no colour riot, no extravagant dressing. Have good house wears, maternity wears; under wears, outing wears and night wears. You can’t look dirty and get a “neat” response from your husband; the way you dress is the way you will be addressed. Looking good is good.

(7).         Queenly Bedroom Performance (Proverb 5:15-20, I Cor.7:1-5): - Sex is one thing your husband wants more of. Don’t destroy your marriage by denying him, be queenly in the bedroom, be terrific, and be involved. Get a copy of our book Sexual Fulfillment In Marriage for more on this.

Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

(Eccl. 4:9, Psalm 45:10-11, Genesis 2:18-25)

Intimacy is the closeness of you and your spouse in all ways. It is not something you achieve and relax; it is something that must be nurture everyday of your marriage. If you neglect intimacy in your marriage, you will grow apart, and have a dry marriage.

The time to work on intimacy in your marriage is NOW!

Forms of Intimacy in Marriage

1.        Physical Intimacy. It involves doing things together, staying in the same room, keeping each other’s company, dressing alike, defending and protecting each other.

2.        Emotional Intimacy. This is the closeness created through sharing of feelings, plans, thoughts, and openness of mind.  Couples pay attention to each other’s feeling, and are vulnerable to each other, no reservation. Be open, be free and let the door of your mind be open, not just that of your mouth.

3.        Mental Intimacy. This has to do with couples having the same thought-life believing the same thing, having the same mental attitude and conception, dealing with negative conception together and developing a new one, having the same values.

4.        Spiritual Intimacy. Involves sharing religious beliefs, and observing religious practices together such as praying together, studying the Bible together, family altar, going to church together, sharing your spiritual experiences. We suggest that couples should attend the same church and serve the same God together, have time to worship God together, listen to teaching tapes together and study the same devotional.

5.       Financial Intimacy. Involves discussing and sharing about your finances and having a focus about your financial goals. If you don’t spend money together you are having intimacy problem, if you don’t know how much your spouse earn, your marriage is at o-y-o level no matter how you try to explain it.

6.       Social Intimacy. It has to do with living together as friends, playing together, spending time together, attending social events together, doing things together at home, and carrying each other along. Can you say your wife or husband is your best friend?

7.       Intellectual Intimacy. This is not about discussing highly intellectual ideas. It simply means sharing your thought about things around you- food, children, crime, politics, sport, finances, health, etc. It also involves attending seminars and conferences together, reading the same books and discussing knowledge acquired with your spouse.

8.       Vocational Intimacy. This is not about working together in the same place; it is about sharing your mind about your jobs or career, getting to know one or two things about your spouse’s job, office, colleague, challenges, prospect, etc. Generally, carrying each other along about your careers.

9.       Domestic Intimacy. It involves the man helping the wife at home, doing things together at home, avoiding a situation where the woman is left alone to cook, wash, clean, scrub, carry the baby, change the nappy, bath the older ones with the husband doing nothing.

These do wear out a woman and make her not to be ready to satisfy her husband.

 Great husbands normally do one or two things to support their wives, while wives keep on appreciating them as they do this.

10. Recreational Intimacy. This is enjoying activities together, playing together, watching films, running, watching sporting activities, fishing, preparing meal together, visiting recreational places, museums, parks, gardens, zoos, etc. Couples should always plan their weekends and vacation together and try as much as possible to spend them together.

11.  Parental Intimacy. It involves training of children together, having the same focus for the children, not allowing children to come between  you but caring for them and discipline them together and remembering that children are outsiders in your marriage.

12.  Project Intimacy. This involves planning together about the future and carrying them out, jointly turning the vision to action, putting your resources together to do things. It may be about having a car, build a house, travel abroad, move to a town, starting a business of your own, etc.

13. Sexual Intimacy. This is one of the most important determinants of healthy marital intimacy. It is not just about sleeping together, it is about LOVE MAKING. This involves open communication about sex in marriage, excitement from both parties, frequency that both parties are satisfied with, sexual activities that both parties enjoyed.

Removing all sexual barriers in the bedroom, involvement of parties, good foreplay, partner-focused-sexual activities, and creativity in the bedroom, pre-planned sex, and constant improvement in the bedroom.

Sex is one of the major causes of disharmony in marriage, couples should learn to use it to better their homes, women most especially know that their husband love sex hence, they should do everything to satisfy them. (Proverbs 5:15-20)

Visit www.totalfamilyresources.com for more info.

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